Thinking #3

so once again i am in a thinking mood suprised? Deon has said he thinks he loves me. Thinks? i don't understand i thought you either love someone or you don't there is no thinking about it. it is what your heart says nothing about what you want. you can't help who you fall in love with it just happens. he was also saying how in every relationship someone always loves one more so than the other that could be correct i am not sure just seems like i put my guard down and give my all when i don't get anythign in return (feeling wise).

my way of thinking at the moment is he is holding something back, wether he is holding himself back for some reason or if it is something that he wants to say, he just hasn't been the same deon for a little while now. just not sure, man boys are soooo confusing and they thought we were!!! news for them. hmmm yeah i just don't know with the whole thing, honesty is the best policy, i had layed everything on the table i only think it if fair that i get it in return. even if they think it might hurt me, hey if it something we can work out we will. i want deon and i to work, personally i think we are made for each other but he is just scared of showing any sign of feelings purely for the fact how burnt he got in his last realtionship. anything serious comes up it is just one big joke, sometimes things can't be jokes and a serious side does have to come out.

i have to admit, i couldn't get through stuff with out my girl Ainslie she has helped me alot, I knwo i can send her a message and get a response and she talks to me and tries to find what is happening and suggests thing. like don't go physco biatch on him! lol she is funny and bootiful just a shame we live two states apart.

update on what has happened lately, i dislocated my knee tearing tendons while i was at it not much fun and been on crutches for coming up to a month, finally starting to get betta, but still has its moments, but it is also alot of money as i don't have private health insurance i am paying thorugh my arse for physio in the city, just crazy! but hopefully it will be all better shortly and i will be off the crutches tomorrow fingers crossed anyways!

alright that is all that the moment kylie signing off.
xxx

THINKING #2

So not a great deal is happening in my life at the moment Steven and Tamara and now engaged! :) so happy for them, um so i am a bridesmaid for two of my girls now. one wedding is december this year and the other is in august 2009! :) the last blog i wrote in here was about trying to keep the suprise away from deon about his trip to melbourne for his birthday. I am so proud of myself i was able to hold myself in and not give him any clues about the trip. we went down there it was freezing and rainy, but spending time with Ainslie and Cam was just alot of fun. I am very happy that deon has got family that i get along with and can call one of my best girlfriends.
i am havign a bit of a rough time at the moment, deon and i have had our two year anniversary in may, but for the last two years we have been doing the same thing, only seeing each other every weekend, hoenstly i don't know how we have done it but i think in a funny way it has made us closer and has made us trust each other for the fact we aren't always there and in each others pockets. but just recently i have wanted to move in with him, i see all my girlfriends moving in with their partners getting engaged. I am no way saying that i want a ring now, i am just thinking after two years i feel like we are stuck in a rut, i love him to death really do but i want to move foward in our relationship than just sitting and waiting for a sign or something to tell him it is the right thing to do. he wants to take things slow but i don't know this sometimes like it is too slow. i gotta try and understand he is just trying to protect himself from being hurt once again. after two years though you would have some kind of idea that the person you are with isn't the same person that has hurt you in the past, from what i have gathered from other peoples tales of this ex, seems like i am the total oppisite to her. deon and i don't fight, i get along with all of his mates, and they seem to come to me for a little bit of advise with few things. maybe he thinks that it is too good to be true, which it isn't well i hope not, i have found my other half i just gotta wait till he realises that it i am the right one.
new job is going well, kelly (one of the girls and i go shopping a fair bit in our lunch times normally we come back with shoes, a handbag or makeup) it isn't good working in the city for that reason shopping is just there just a matter of doing it.
um so i best be getting back to work. i will blog another day. if anyone has any suggestions about my whole boy thing feel free to say, i am doing my head in thinking about it.

excited

okay well i wrote a good blog before, and i pressed a button and it just dissappeared. so hopefully this one is as good as the last! :P It is Deon's bday on the 15th of May anyways for a suprise i have organised for a suprise trip to melbourne for his bday weekend, it is driving me insane though not saying anything, coz there is nothing we hide from each other. I keep getting caught up talking to his cousin's girlfriend about the living arrangements and i almost spill what is being planned some how i have managed to steer him clear of thinking anything melbourne, my best friend tee has told him that we gotta come down there! i love her to bits other wise he would have figured it out by now.





oh if it works, hopefully in this blog somewhere there will be a pic of my man, my love of my life and hopefully one day my life long partner.

Thinking

I been doing alot of thinking lately more so than usual. it amazes me on how much people change from high school. i used to be in a tight knit group in high school, boys and girls, now as we all reach milestones, and you kind of then see who your real friends are with engagements and 21st.

Anyway what i am getting at there is one friend inparticular has changed a fair bit since highschool so much so i wouldn't say she is my closest friend. we hung out for a little bit after doing the clubbing thing when we were both single now we are both taken. I don't like her boyfriend, there is just something i have always found sneaky, when i used to be her best friend he wasn't able to say hello to me or hold a conversation. There was also a number of times when drugs came to it, which i am totally against and she took them and left me by myself one night in the valley lucky i saw a friend and he pretended to be my boyfriend for the night to get rid of a stalker. so since then i have hated him even more.

I might sound a little jealous with this next bit, i am not i am just a little worried that she is rushing things. She is engaged to this guy now, they haven't even been going out for 2 years, it would almsot be 1 and a half years. i have been with my man for 2 years at the end of may, and there is no talk of marriage, yeah we both want it, but we are both young why rush something or change something when your having fun together. I love Deon and no doubt about it i hope that i will marry him one day, but it has only been two years, in that amount of time things are still coming out you are starting to see their bad side not just their girl side.

well that is my little grip. jsut to say i can't see what the rush is with people getting engaged and married when we are so young, yeah life is short, but have fun don't get too serious into things like that. don't listen to family members asking when are you next, as my boyfriend says turn around and ask when are they going to kick the bucket chances are they wont like that and they won't ask ever again!

until next time kylie signing off

xxx

intro

Hi all, after reading some blogs i thought that i should be as well just to get things started off, i am going to just do a quick intro of what i am about:
my name is kylie, i am a 21 year old who still lives with the oldies at the moment. i have been going out with my wonderful boyfriend for 2 years in may. He is a wonderful guy but as usual like all males he also can get to me! :)

i have just started a new job in the city doing conveyancing searches which is fun, the people there are all around the same age and it is just a great. I am going to be a bridesmaid for a girlfriend of mine so i am starting to think of ideas for hens parties and all that jazz.

i think that will be enough blabbing on about me. so until later be good.

xxx